****UPDATE 2025: Reset Float Centre has just sent me a discount code for first-time floaters for 10% off – just enter ch-906586 when booking on their website. ****

The entire population of Scotland was recovering from what felt like a win from the Euro 2020 game vs England. (It was a 0-0 draw but for those of us in Scotland, it felt like a huge victory against our old football rivals) I was lying in my bed feeling like a big toxic bag of sludge munching my way through way too many items from the Domino’s menu.

My 7 hour Netflix binge interspersed with long periods of mindless scrolling on my phone led me down an internet rabbit hole that started at different countries travel restrictions via the Dead Sea and culminated in Googling for sensory deprivation tanks.

Somehow the idea of pickling myself in epsom brine with complete silence and darkness really appealed to me and would get me away from my damn phone for 90 minutes.

To my surprise, the Reset Float Centre popped up on my search results, just a few miles from my house. This isn’t normal for someone who lives in “the sticks”. I’m used to seeing these kinds of things confined to the big cities, it’s great support small businesses closer to home.

Being the impulsive person I am, an appointment the following evening for a one-hour float session was just too much to resist. (£47.00 for a 90 minute session including time for showering etc* edit this is now £50 – as of 2025)

Reset Float Centre is located just off the M9 motorway – easy to find. At first I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the industrial estate location. However, on entering, concerns disappeared. A look around reassured me that the place was spotlessly clean and very professional.

The woman at the desk knew even with my facemask on, “first time floater?” she smiled.

She talked me through what to expect from my floaty session as she showed me the clean white room where the giant sensory deprivation tank/pod sat filled with Epsom salty water.

She explained that “the floater” (me) was to lock the door, shower, strip naked, stick in ear plugs (brine and ear canals don’t mix well apparently) and jump in (carefully) to the pod, close the lid and then it was up to me.

For first-time floaters she recommended 10-minutes of relaxing music followed by 50 minutes of silence.

The floater controls the lights inside the pod via a big rubber button and there was an alarm bell in case of an emergency(?!)

On inspection, the pod was hot tub-sized with a big domed lid. Slipping inside it felt roomy and nothing like the claustrophobic watery coffin I’d imagined.

I quickly showered and hopped in pulling the lid behind me, it felt like hiding in one of those beds where the mattress lifts to reveal under bed storage.

At first there certainly wasn’t much sensory deprivation, the strong epsom salts made my skin burn (I have eczema), one of the ear plugs floated off to the feet end of the tank and I couldn’t get my head and neck to relax. Every time I forced my neck to relax, relaxed I could hear my blood pulsing around my head and was sure I was going to drown myself.

Eventually the burning calmed down, I put my hands behind my head and and felt very bored. Had I really paid to be bored in the dark for an hour?

After about 15-minutes, I found myself in what I can only describe as some sort of meditative state. I vaguely remember thinking about pretty mundane things, a bit like a waking dream. I was very relaxed, comfortable and secure in my salty womb/coffin/hot tub.

When the hour was up soft tinkly music started up in the tank and I “came to” feeling really well rested with a very pleasant brain fuzz.

Après float

I loved my float session, it was a great way to spend a Sunday evening and I slept extremely well that evening.

And I got a wee floaty loyalty card.

My eczema was definitely less inflamed for the week after the float.

My earplug-less ear was itchy and crispy for a few days.

My poor hair which had just had its first real hair cut and colour since January 2020. The epsom brine had stripped the toner from my hair leaving it strawy-yellow

*originally written in 2020 (Has it really been 5 years since the pandemic? The crazy queueing systems? the travel restrictions! )